Less Irish than a snake

When you're born poor and English, the first thing the 'gods' whisper to you is,

"You are born free and this life is your opportunity".

Like all dreams, the resonance is over before the meaning is construed.

This birthright is now almost universal, which is England's greatest triumph.

Happy Paddy.....

Sir Liam Donaldson

Being Ginger has had a terrible affect on lard loving Liam.

As everyone knows ginger pubes cause serious mental problems leading to sadistic desires of the cruelest order.

Donaldson thinks he should inflict pain on the weakest people in society, 'cos it's more fun to pick on the weak, as every Ginge well knows from experience.

His proposal to price poor folk out of drunkenness and in to sober misery is pure evil.

Sir Liam, you have a non-job, you are pointless and loathed by those whom you wish to nanny.

I do not want your advice on health or anything else....

victory for humanity over the microbes...

It's spring again and I felt well enough to hit the pub.

I've just spent ten days drink and drug free!

It's the first time since I was 13 years old, so I feel a tad chuffed with myself.

Although.... being straight and sober is as dull as I remember.

Ya whatever, it's great to feel well and good again.

Hic.....

Man Flu

I want to feel like spring.

How I suffer....

And no sympathy from anyone.....

The parrot's the worst he hates me... He just won't shut up...

london's calling

It's Financial Fools Day in a month and the clarion call is irresistible.

Looks like I'm gonna have to get off my sign and let them know how much I love them.

Sir Fred Goodwin receives his bonus.

Fred the Shred ruins lives.

Bank robbers are really boring these days. When I was young bank robbers were dashing anti-heros like Jesse James or Bonnie and Clyde. (Okay they were long dead but I watched films).

Today many a bank robber is a dull suit who pulls the wool over the eyes of other dull suits, taking many years to pull their cruel plans off.

Oh well, as a crumb of comfort I'm sure he'll be looking at the booty in the USA and curse his meagre pension.

Gas Chambers, what Gas Chambers?

I wish this story would go away.

I had never heard of illiberal priest, bishop Richard Williamson until a month or so ago.

Since then the media has indulged in vilifying his holocaust denial. Why? the man's a loop, he doesn't believe women should wear trousers or be educated.

Ignore him!

Still, I did feel annoyed when people wished to deny him sanctuary in Britain.

Maybe they thought he should suffer in a ghetto/concentration camp and get the feel of it for himself.

I know, how about banishing him to Gaza. That'll learn him.

Dow Jones

The Doh Jones has hit levels not seen in nearly 12 years.

One only needs to look at the graph above to realise that it was always a good ol' fashioned bubble.

Still there is some good news... it will have to fall another 1500 points to reach levels not seen for 13 years, phew.

BNP and the Bourgeoise

"Unexpected", "Surprised", "Shocked".

The reaction of the Media and Politicians to the not unexpected, surprising or shocking BNP victory at the Sevenoaks by-election is a joy to behold.

Their ignorant incredulity proves yet again that a good education is no substitute for intelligence.

What amuses me is that with such vast swathes of people voting BNP, none of our careerist politicians and erudite media savees seem to know any of them.

I suppose if people spend many months in exotic locations, getting to know the other side of one's own Country is far below one.

Besides, everyone knows that the oiks are all racist Nazis.

Smile Please

In the UK it has been deemed illegal to do the above.

The Police State has been growing ever more powerful in recent years, all to save us from terrorists.

Now taking a policeman's photo will be viewed as a potential terrorist act. (I'm pretty sure setting fire to them is also frowned upon).

All the laws are now in place, please step forward the Great Dictator.

Hugo Chavez

All the best old chap,

Good luck in your struggle.

Geert Wilders ... Go back where you came from!

Scary looking Geert Wilders has been sent packing in what can only be described as a good day for extremists.

Jaqui Smith has put her jackboot in it once again by denying UK entry to Islamophobic (is it irrational fear?) Geert.

Geert (who wants the Koran banned) is now claiming to be a champion of free speech.

Of course the real reason is that Lord Ahmed threatened to storm Parliament with a 10,000 strong army... Crikey, who's in control?

Jacqui you moron, we Brits have tolerated nutters forever without being bitten by their madness, now idiots like you keep stirring us up; your Government is our misfortune.

Well done Jacqui.

p.s are you a BNP insider?

Deep Recession

Oh dear Mervyn King,

Slowly but surely grim reality is sinking in. According to the Guv'ner (don't use the D word), there is a significant risk that the recession will be even longer and deeper than expected.

That's bad news Merv 'cos I thought it would last years...

The reasons are simple dude: The debt/credit fantasy was just that.

The world has far too many new proletariat for capitalism to handle.

Technology has insured that most of the world's working class don't really have anything useful to do.

Mervyn, I still don't think most of the world gets it. We're stuck and nukes ruin the usual escape method.

Madness awaits us all.

Jacqui Smith and Gang

“...It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonoured by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice; ye are a factious crew, and enemies to all good government; ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell your country for a mess of pottage, and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money.

“Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess? Ye have no more religion than my horse; gold is your God; which of you have not barter'd your conscience for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth?

“Ye sordid prostitutes, have you not defil'd this sacred place, and turn'd the Lord's temple into a den of thieves by your immoral principles and wicked practices? Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation; you were deputed here by the people to get grievances redress'd; your country therefore calls upon me to cleanse the Augean Stable, by putting a final period to your iniquitous proceedings, and which by God's help and the strength He has given me, I now come to do.

“I command ye, therefore, upon the peril of your lives, to depart immediately out of this place! Take away that shining bauble there, and lock up the doors. You have sat here too long for the good you do. In the name of God, go!”

Oh boy, Where's Cromwell when you need him?

Snow Fun

What great week. The south of England has been hit with proper snow.

Gloriously, most of the country downed tools immediately and went out to play.

It's been great to sledge, build snowmen and throw snow balls (even if my daughter screams mum every time snow goes down her back: in my next life I'm demanding sons).

But the best bit has been the pompous incredulity shown by congenitally dreary whom seem to think we are dreadful for either being unable to take a bit of snow or (if they have a couple of brain cells) preferring fun to work.

Thank you for your misery, it makes me feel so much better!

Sid Vicious 1957-1979

30 Years!

RIP Sid....

Donner Kebabs and Closing pubs.

Hic.. I've just done my bit for the British pub industry by propping up a few empty bars for the afternoon.

Smoking alone outside in grey, dank, dreary January is hell on Earth.

A couple of pubs have died which brought back ye olde memories...

I was 'specially reminded of the early 80's when the town centre lost all its classic pubs. They had great names and architecture from times of yore.. I still miss the Lord Nelson and the Volunteer (a cheesy grebo/biker pub).

Anyway, many pints create hungry tums. So in respect to Mahmut Aygün (c.1921-2009), the Berlin, Turkish inventor of the modern donner kebab, I Knew exactly what to eat for supper.

(although I'm pretty sure meat 'n' salad sandwich is as old as farming: and a Brit donner is far more ugly than a European donner).

So it was to my utter amusement that the news told me that donner kebabs, contains alot of salt (this is a good thing when drunk, and only after alot of fluid would anyone eat this erm, formatted god knows what). And tons of other nasties...

Hilariously, a warning was given to Muslims that many donners claiming to be halal contained pork. (yeah right, as if they get pissed enough to eat this shit!).

Oh well....

Depression tip.

Buy a few pittas (nice bread if you can) before going out. When you buy the donner get lots of extra meat (it only costs a few bob).

You can now eat donner kebab for an extra day!

Cannabis is a naughty herb.

Cannabis is upgraded to a Class B drug today.

Gordon Brown and Jacqui Smith have in the vast wilderness of their illiberal ignorance decided that dope heads need to suffer.

I think extra hard spanks, nipple clamps and a long stretch in gaol is their favoured punishment.

Oh well, I suppose turning Britain into an open prison whilst fucking up the economy is a struggle for such soulless drones.

It wouldn't occur to such morons that legalising all drugs would pull us out of recession in a jolt.

So when your pissed off with your shit life, don't have a spliff and mellow out, stick to alcohol, 'cos when ye drink you get angry, and when you get angry you get violent, and then you riot.

Depression Tip.

Buy a gas mask!

As this young Irish youth shows, riots are much more fun when you can slip on a gas mask.

Iceland calls Elections

People power in Iceland has claimed Europe's first Government.

Of course it doesn't really matter, Iceland and Capitalism are broken.

Seeing as neither will be fixed for a long while, they'll be back.

Still, they can take a break and wait for better weather.